Monday, October 3, 2011

Speaking From the Heart


There's a bit of irony in the title of this post...
in that the words are not coming easily of late,
and I'm finding it difficult to wax rhapsodically
about design and decor and all that jazz that I normally
love to gab about.

It all feels shallow and silly
and of small consequence. It isn't shallow and silly,
that's just the grief talking.
Art and beauty and creativity still matter,
perhaps now much more so than ever.

But for me?
I'm feeling quiet and contemplative,
and even a bit lost.
It's okay, it's normal, I get that....
it's a process, one I must go through.
No circumventing the stages of grief,
no going around it.
Through  it.

So, in the spirit of being true to myself and to you as well,
I'm letting my photos speak for me instead.

Another small handful
from the fields of Warrenton last week...















Thank you all for understanding,
and for just being you.
:-)




photos taken here:



53 comments:

  1. Wonderful little display of paint brushes on the screen. To think of the scruffy paint brushes I've thrown away! Such a clever idea.

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  2. I do understand. When I lost my mom, priorities suddenly seemed so clear, and a sense of my own mortality gripped me. I turned a corner in my life...in a more positive direction.
    I'm praying for you, sweet friend.

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  3. Oh Sweetie,
    I can So relate! Grief has to have it's time.....And, I'm going to just reiterate, we are NEVER the same after losing our Moms. No matter how, no matter how old! We lost our MOMS! Mine was 91, but she was my best friend, Always!

    Journal,,,,,,,Just for YOU! Yeah, you can Blog some of it, if you want. But write down what you're feeling,,,,,it'll help when "Mr. Twig" doesn't quite know what to "do" with/for you....when you can't "say it, post it" otherwise.......Just for Annie Girl! Let the tears flow,,,,get Angry/Laugh/Pray and keep that journal for YOU! Right now, you've got Tons of Friends, Tons of family, but sometimes even THEY won't "get it." This is Mom and YOU time......Write it down,,,,Draw, put some pics in "there"........Nothing Fancy...nobody else needs to see OR critque it! This is NOT about Style of Design......It's about healing.

    Hugs and Love you Bunches!
    Shell

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  4. This may not be very important at this time either but I have to say it -- I love the way your name looks on you photos. Stay strong -- you'll get your life back. Jan

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  5. Anne- You will find joy in the small things again-it just takes a while. And, it is good to push onward when all you want to do is live in the past- I so know~ xo Diana

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  6. Sending some love and prayers in your direction Anne.
    - Joy

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  7. Anne, I can relate to what you are going through losing both of my parents. It will get better, but it will take a little time. I am in agreement with Shell, do something special just for you. It is o.k. to write it down, It is o.k. to cry, to get mad. We all have stress levels that sometimes we wonder how we will manage. Just remember the man upstairs only gives us what we can handle and will help us through giving us the strength to go forward. I still like your pictures and wish mine turned out like yours. Take care Hugs and prayers from Your Missouri Friend.

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  8. Beautiful pictures Anne. I am sorry that you are having to go through all this. It is hard and it is hard sometimes to find the joy again, but you will. Your mom would want you too. I lost my mom when I was 25. I still miss her like it was yesterday but she is with me always. You take all the time you need. I am sending prayers your way.

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  9. Bless your heart...We do understand and you take your time, you know we will be here when you pop in. xo

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  10. I love your pictures as always! You know, you are correct. You just have to "go through it"! I didn't want to when I lost my Mom, I just wanted life to go back like it always use to be. But we grow, we learn, and when we "go through it" and we DO sooner or later get to the other side. But you will never, ever forget how much you loved and missed your Mom. That's the tough part about life. With time though it gets a bit easier,I promise!

    Take care, Sue

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  11. I see a story told in those five beautiful photos. Wishing you comfort. xo -amy

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  12. I go through phases & my blog seems to too...funny, creative, family, party time, there is a time for all of it & the emotions are what make our blogs real aren;t they :) I know you have so much on your heart with all you have gone through & are going through. Thanks for letting us in :)

    YOu know you are sooo right...the creativity & beauty ARE important & very special...AND they seem to connect us somehow :) I loved your pics & thoughts tonight Anne! Thinking of you!

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  13. I am sorry for your loss, Anne.

    Fondly,
    Glenda

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  14. Beautiful Anne just like you!!!

    sending you all the love and hugs your heart can hold

    xoxo
    Kate

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  15. I was "Daddy's Little Girl" after his passing I dealt with every emotion, death hurts plain & simple, all I can share is... death leaves a heartache no one can heal...love leaves a memory no one can steal.
    Hugs~Ginger

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  16. Hi sweet girl...I will pass along something good my mama told me when I was younger...she said when you are having a rough stormy day do your favorite things, wear your favorite clothes, listen to your favorite music, light your favorite candle, drink your favorite coffee with creamer! and just be good to yourself. It doesn't make the storm any less but it does help.
    Give yourself a big hug from me.
    Blessings,
    Debbie @ Ribbonwood

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  17. Love your beautiful photos Anne~ they are absolutely gorgeous. Sending much love and hugs your way.
    Hugs, Courtney

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  18. all those photographs spoke softly of worn out and loved, and still so beautiful...even more so with the tattered edges and rubbed off paint

    thinking of you Anne.

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  19. Hello, friend. Glad to see you're "out and about" {in the blog world at least}. Because it's good for you. And yes, it seems pretty insignificant and trivial right now, all this blog stuff. What HAVE you been talking about all this time, anyway? LIFE. You've been talking about life and you'll continue to talk about life cause that's what we do. We go on. It took me a year to be able to get out of bed in the morning without a feeling of dread after my mom died. You'll get there, too. Know that the prayers continue.....xoxo Kathleen

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  20. I had 3 major life changing events happen in a short time span. One was the passing of my Mother.
    As I mucked about in it all and went through the stages of grief I was taken by the hand and told 'it wouldn't always be like this and you wont always feel like this'. It was indeed true.
    I wish you sunny days.

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  21. I know that feeling darling...it is also what is inside me....it is so hard to loose your mom.......i live by day...more i can not do right now.......big hug from me...i am thinking about you always....love love xxx...Ria

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  22. ...and a picture is worth a thousand words. You don't have to say anything at all. Take care, andrea@ townandprairie

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  23. sending much love... thank you for sharing your beautiful photos of Warrenton with those of us not able to attend. The screen with the brushes would so be on my wall if I had some cool ones to show off! t. xoxoxoox

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  24. You may not be finding your creative voice right now but you are still finding the beauty in everything around you. Thanks for sharing your lovely photos. xo big hugs

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  25. Take your time dear Anne... we all love you and pray for your broken heart! Keep on keeping on Sweetie! Love you!

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  26. Anne, no words needed. You take time for yourself, that's important!

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  27. I read somewhere (I think on a blog post many moons ago) the pain is a reminder of how much we loved...and how much we were loved. Time helps, but the sweet memories even more.
    Deb

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  28. You do not have the ability to be shallow. You are so real and I like that about you in every post. Peace to you in this valley. hugs♥O

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  29. I think we all understand and are praying for you still. Thank you for taking the time to share with us still. ♥

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  30. Take all of the time you need, Anne. We all understand. If we weren't so blessed to have had such wonderful people in our lives, it wouldn't hurt so much.The people I have lost have given me so much and have grately enriched my life. I am grateful daily that they touched my life. Take care:)
    ~Debra xxx
    Capers of the vintage vixens

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  31. I was feeling exactly the same way a few weeks ago, as my mama passed recently as well. I almost deleted my blog - it felt so unimportant and silly.
    But then I got to thinking. The things I love most in life are the things that my mama loved as well. So I started letting go of the grief and started hanging on to the love and joy we shared. She would want me to do just exactly that.
    I know we are not close friends, Anne. I'm just another blogger. But I hope knowing that another person is walking the same path a couple steps ahead of you might help. I hope so.
    Hugs,
    Zuzu

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  32. Your lovely photos speak for themselves as does your beautiful heart! Hugs, Linda

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  33. Your photos say it beautifully Anne....take your time...

    Lou Cinda

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  34. So many good thoughts have already been posted. I can't add much more than to let your heart guide you, and let your friends and family comfort you when you need it, even if it's six months from now, or a year from now.

    As always, I'm thinking of you.
    Alice

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  35. Your photos are so beautiful, Anne! I especially love that shot of the clock. I know you heart is aching so badly right now. Please know you are in my prayers!

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  36. I have been where you are....it is time that heals...and I know you hate to hear that...but unfortunately it is true. You photos speak loud and clear of beauty around you...you are going to be fine and happy again...in time.

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  37. Love all these wonderful finds - especially the paint brushes. They look lovely displayed that way.

    I'm so sorry for your loss ... *hugs*

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  38. dear Anne, i tried to post a while back but couldnt get it to work. operater error ;). so just so you know you are a tremendous inspiration. i did get the book understanding exposure, i did get a good camera for my 60 b day and i am taking a camera class. because your mom supported you in your photos you have become an inspiration to many of us in blog land. she would be so proud of the positive influence you have had. anne it takes time each holiday will be a struggle but you are strong and you will get thru this. so bless you

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  39. Sweet girl. Thank you for touching base, and for the wonderful pictures.

    I cannot imagine what you are going through, but we are praying for you, and others we know who have recently suffered great loss in their lives.

    Praying for comfort in the quiet hours.

    blessings
    barbara jean

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  40. Hi dear Anne.....your photos are amazing as always...but what is even more wonderful is that you are not afraid to address your grief.....head on....oftentimes people are not able to do that and that, my sweet girl, is what makes us heal.

    xo

    Jo

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  41. Dear Anne, You are being a daughter FIRST right now. Because that's WHO you are {and always will be} And you are right...in what ever you choose to say or DO{b/c there IS NO wrong in grief-dom} and you are right WHERE you should be {b/c YOU are the only one that can know that!} I'm proud of you! I love the photos you post! We all do! And you don't even need words...they are sooo good! ;-) {looks like we're doing all the verbage anyways} love to you sweetie, Mollydiane

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  42. From my experience Anne I would do what makes you happy, which in turn would make your Mom happy. Thinking like that really helped me when I lost my Mom. Thinking of you!

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  43. Love these pics
    Love that you are
    taking your time
    Love your tender
    heart...
    xx Suzanne

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  44. It does take time, and your photos speak beautifully on your behalf!

    Kat :)

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  45. I love all your beautiful photos Anne girl.
    I understand it Anne...I can't make it better, but I can pray for you!
    Sending big hugs your way...

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  46. I was about your age, I think, when I lost my Mom. I'm the youngest of four daughters. I remember those days, weeks, months after her death. There is no easy way. It just takes time. It has been many years now...and I still miss her. God bless you...

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  47. I hope that you can always find the joy and the beauty in the little things in life. Thinking of you and praying each day gets a little easier to cope and to process all the emotions.

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  48. Your Mama must be smiling down on you from heaven everytime you use that camera of yours sweet Anne. xoxo ~Lili

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  49. Nice to see you back....and taking such amazing pictures, as always.
    Hope you are doing well.
    We're due for a long email... :)
    Much love to you,
    Lisa xo

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  50. How did I miss this post? DOH!

    Lovely photos as usual. I just love that old time portrait and those lovely well worn books at the end.

    I think your photography will be a useful too to you going through your process of grief.

    love n light,
    Susan

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