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Thursday, December 17, 2009

The Happiest Time of the Year?

Yes, it should be.
And usually it is.
But this year, as with several recent Christmases past, has been fraught with family related drama. Drama which rears its ugly head, just like clockwork, always just in time to ruin the holidays for me.
Today was that day.

I feel a heaviness of heart, and anger mixed with a sense of helplessness.
I do not wish to hurt those close to me, which is why I will refrain from going into details here.
Suffice it to say, I feel very 
tired, defeated, and bereft of any sort of interior peace.

I will pray, I will rest, I will persevere.
This too shall pass.


53 comments:

The Little Red Shop said...

I'm praying for you! Lifting you up! Thou shalt keep him in perfect peace whose mind is staid on Thee! : )

I'm praying for your Christmas too!

: )

Julie M.

The Little Red Shop said...

ps I finally posted a new blog. Go take a gander at my brothers...maybe they will help cheer you up! : )

Tattered Goods said...

Oh Sweetie... no need to try to even explain , I think we all have some family member hiding in the closet just waiting to say BOO... I am hear to make you feel like I do and they need to remeber this is CHRISTMAS and not HALLOWEEN. I hope that made you laugh :) I will pray for you, yuou are right this to shall pass and you will have done it through the strenghth of CHRIST it is HIS SEASON.

xo,
Sheila

Six in One Hand said...

You know that I'm there for you...in spirit and in prayer..I'm just a phonecall away!!!

The Flying Bee said...

I hate to hear this...I will be praying for you. Hope things get better soon.

Hugs,
Adrienne

*The Beautiful Life* said...

OH HON! NO! Sweetie -- if there is ANY way to "let it go" as much as possible, I'd do that.... Take it from me... those irritating you won't be around forever and it's right about then (when they're gone) that you look back and say "Geesh -- I wasted a lot of time mad at him/her..." Just my two cents, hon. But, having said that -- rest assured I KNOW WHATCHA TALKIN' BOUT with regard to family "issues" (don't we all).

Love you, girlie -- and i mean that.

XOXO

Ruth

ps... the blog makeover ROCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wow! Total eye-candy when your blog opened up before my eyes!! I'm jealous!!! Re-do my blog, will ya?? ;)

Primitiques 'n Poetry said...

Well, whoever it is sucks. Period. Jesus was born. And He rocks. So, there. Celebrate the good and kick the bad to the curb. Amen. ~Mindy (hugs!)

Theresa said...

I'm here for you too! I will pray that the situation scoots on down the road and that the Christmas spirit will overpower your bad feelings! Have a blessed day my dear!!!!

Auntie Cake said...

Oh, praying that this shall be but a memory, and very soon! Hoping that you will feel peace, comfort and a sense of empowerment. You go girl!!!
Take care,
Kate

David said...

I think I may have a small inkling of how you feel. Last Saturday some family drama had me feeling whooped physically and a little beat down in spirit. I can usually go along and get along, but some people seem hell bent on making everything so much harder than it needs to be. Ugh! In my case, a good margarita and a little Mindy time was all it took to get me back on track. All I can tell you is do the best you can and turn the rest over to God. Then rest in the knowledge that He is in control. Blessings to you. Prayer sent.

kimmcl said...

Anne I think most of us can relate. I think the older we get the easier we think it's going to be, but it sometimes is just the opposite. You have a great head on your shoulders and I like your philosophy - this too WILL pass!

LuLu said...

Sorry to hear this... sending you prayers that this shall pass.
xo,
LuLu

BellaRosa said...

Anne, I hope whatever it is that is so heavy in your heart and mind right now, can be set aside for sometime to let you breathe and enjoy the holidays, sometimes no matter what we do...either no one or not everyone will be happy...but what can you do? Just be happy that you are healthy and that your loved ones are here with you, because as bad as family drama can be...it is even worse when at a gathering there is an empty place for those you so love and miss...this year I would give anything for just 5 min. to spend with my Ita and my dad, bad memories, good memories, I would take it all to have just that :) Take a moment to just stop...breathe...and smile, besos, Rose

sissie said...

I can truly relate as well. Our family has been torn apart since our Mother passed away three years ago. There are those who cannot forgive and those that hold grudges, and those that feel sad. I can't fix it and believe me I have tried and everytime I have been beaten down to the ground.
So, I've accepted it and moved on. I'm still sad that all cannot be right with our family and a few days ago, we found out that one of my siblings has cancer and is very ill.
I will be there for him, no matter what he has done. I won't be the one with the pain if I do the right thing.
God bless you and I hope that you can heal.

Pat Winter said...

That is a great attitude. Keep in mind the joy you bring to bloggers....that should turn your frown upside down! Hugs and sparkly snowflakes,Pat

Malisa said...

I'm with you, girlfriend! I can sympathize. I have been crying for three days and my stomach is in knots. It will all work out...I am sure...just as yours will. In the meantime, let's try to concentrate on all the good in our lives! This is the season of miracles...who knows what might happen?

Six divided by two..... said...

awwww my FBM is sad. This too shall pass. You know that you are always in my prayers. I also need your address. LYLAS

cityfarmer said...

we have all been here ... in fact some of us are here, now, too, again

...you MUST know that we are all friends now and we will lift you UP and be the wings beneath your wings!!
You deserve happiness now and always!!!

I hope you can feel all of us underneath you

red.neck chic said...

I'm with Mindy. Amen

Seriously Mrs. Gorgeous - wanna come hang at my house? You can - my single-wide is ALWAYS open to you and yours - plus your dogs!!! I'll even make my teenager pick up his stinky nasty socks.

In the meantime? I'll pray for peace and restoration of your spirit!!!

;-) xoxo
robelyn

Gypsy Brocante said...

I'm with Mindy, too !!
Sending good Gypsy vibes your way ; )

xo
Jill

Brynwood Needleworks said...

Dear Anne:
I know exactly what you mean. It's hard enough any time of year, but when family behaves badly during the holidays, it's seems worse. You're right, it will pass, but for now, it just hurts. Wish I could give you a hug. (I'd take one from you,too!)
Hope you feel better soon.
xoxo
Donna

Polly@MakeMineBeautiful said...

So sorry to hear you're hurting. Like so many have said, unfortunately family drama is pretty common. There's always one that has to turn the rest of the family upside down. We have 3 of those in my family who have already ruined Christmas for everyone else this year.

But here's the deal, if they aren't concerned about hurting others in the family, then why honor them by giving them so much power in your life that it brings you down? Regardless of who it is or what they've done, perhaps you should tell them that what they're creating is of their own choosing and that you choose not to be a part of it, and that you will celebrate the holidays as usual. Tell them you will pray for their peace, but you can't let them affect your own.

Anne, I know it's hard, but there's a letting go point, and that point is when someone is continually upseting your life to the degree that you can't go about your day without letting it consume you.

You have yourself a nice holiday, and concentrate on the family in your house and being happy with them. You will absolutely be in my prayers thru the season.

Cottage Panache Antqs Blog said...

Even when you think all is lost ~ just know that there are friends behind you, to lean on, holding you up. This is the time of year that all of the little seeds of the past seem to be sprouting even though the sun shines less. It's a time melancholy for many. Just remember, you're not alone.
Hangin in there with ya!
Maureen

Debra @ Common Ground said...

Annie, dear, you are not alone. What is it about the holidays that can bring out all the bugga boos in people? Stress? Proximity? Don't let it get you down, I think we have all been through this. You know you're always welcome here. I have 2 sofas in the sanctuary that are available. You're in my prayers, and you know all us crazy bloggy buds love you! So ignore the you know what... remember our "word"? And go have a fun evening.
love you,
Debra

Anne~fiona and twig said...

You are far and away the best people I've ever had the privilege of knowing. Words simply fail, I cannot express how deeply you've touched me this day. And boy, did I need it!

The situation is extremely hard because it's one of the people closest to me in my life...but who is a truly hurt and broken individual, crippled by depression and bitterness borne of an extremely wounded heart....years and years of hurt piled upon hurt.

I want to help and be supportive, but it quite often crosses a line where it's unhealthy, especially in how it affects my marriage.

I feel like I've said too much...but I believe with all my heart that you truly do care, and that all your united prayers can move mountains.

I will take it easy and try to be good to myself tonight. That may take the form of just taking a sleeping pill and shutting out the world! On the other hand, I might just stage an epic pig-out! ;-)

But no more wallowing. I'm putting my jammies on and heading to Debbie's PJ party!
See ya there!

MUCH love,
Anne

Chickens in the Basement said...

Hey Sweetie,

You have lots of good advice here. And obviously, you are not alone. Find something humorous in the situation. Focus on that instead of the anger and frustration. Let it go and enjoy those you love.

Merry Christmas!
Anna

The French Bear said...

Oh dear, nothing like family to make a person feel overwhelmed. Hang in there, I am thinking of you and sending you a big cyber space hug!!!
If there is anything I can do, please let me know, I come from a family of ten, a little bit of drama in just the numbers!
Hugs and big sprinkle of love!!!
Margaret B

Janean said...

Weddings, funerals and holidays bring out the worst in drama-addicted people! (hug)

Me....bunny said...

Anne, Unfortunately this kind of thing usually happens in and around the holidays...like when emotions run high. Focus on the good stuff (try not to get sucked into the drama) cuz I know there is a lot of it around you and it's pretty obvious that you have a lot of friends...including me...Go to my blog...that'll cheer you up...then go have a drink and enjoy what you do have...a good life, good business, good friends and some good family members...lol Please laugh ~wink

tootles,
bunny

The Lone Dollier said...

Oh dear, so sorry to hear this....but can say I sympathize totally and REALLY know how you feel....same thing has happened to me in the past at Christmas. But I will pray for you as others have prayed for me and through God's strength you will pull through. That which does not defeat us only makes us stronger.

Merry Christmas - Jesus is the Reason for the Season.

BIG HUG!
Marilyn

Olivia and Me said...

Hmmm, ya can pick your friends.. if you could only pick your family that way.

Someone told me some time back, 'only put upon your plate what you can eat' and it took me many years to understand what she meant.

I hope your day and weekend are blessed with happiness of the season and make sure you have a small plate tucked in your pocket.

Hugs
~Oli

Laura said...

Praying for peace within your soul and joy to fill your heart!
:)

craftymarta said...

Dear Annie, are we related? Ever since I can remember the holidays have been a time that used to bring the worst in my family. I left home 23 years ago and never look back. I love my family with all my heart but I choose PEACE and JOY. Recently all my family and their drama moved minutes from me. I'm always prayerful about them and this year we have the most amazing Thanksgiving and by the grace of God we will celebrate Jesus (without drama). I have find out that sometimes the best thing is to remain silent and to pray for grace and wisdom to handle any situation, you know, ask and you shall receive. I have decided to stand in the gap for my family and believe that God can change bad memories with good ones, hard times for blessed times. You can not control how others will handle life, but we can certainly choose how we live ours. Blessings, wisdom, peace and joy in the middle of the storm, all to you in the name of Jesus. Marta.

Miss Mustard Seed said...

I am sorry to hear about your strife. It sounds like you have the right attitude about it, though. I hope things improve.

Miss Rhea said...

Sadly, I think the Holidays bring up family drama. Too bad we all cant stay focused on what is truly important. Hope it goes better for you ! Chin up !! :):)

ps, I love your pretty blog :)

Jennifer said...

Prayer and perseverance... that is the best way to handle just about anything! :) Hope things feel better soon!

sue (aka vintage rescue) said...

If at all possible, back away from the family drama! I'm blessed that we are a drama-free family. Remember how loved you are.

Texas Junque Slinger said...

Anne, I hate to hear that you are so down. You deserve the happiness and sometimes we just can't fix other people's unhappiness....no matter how much we want to. You are very strong and you have a good guy that you are married to...

Please know you can call if you need to talk....I can listen w/the best of them....

Love ya
Effie

Linda Q said...

Sorry, sometimes all we can do is give the situation to God to handle, because it is out of our control. And one thing I try to live by now, with these kinds of situations, is to not make myself sick over things I can not control.
Prayer and God can work miracles, I pray that that happens for you in this case.
Keep the faith,
Linda

Cynthia K. said...

Anne ~ Hi Dear One ~ I believe that chocolate ice cream just might solve this entire problem!!

Well, what's important is your response to this situation that happens yearly. You can't rescue or save him - there is only one risen Savior and He has told us in His word to "Cast all your cares upon me for I care for you". He can handle this problem and the person and He already loves the guy. Perhaps this person does not know the Lord or is not leaning and trusting in Him. Either way you can't continue to let this situation steal your joy and peace and suck the life out of you. You will need to turn the problem over to the Lord. I've learned (all from painful experiences) that God expects us to set limits and boundaries to protect ourselves and those we are responsible for. Certainly strife in a marriage is not helpful.

I'll be praying for this person and you and yourfamily...

Cynthia K. (Beauty and Blessings)

Julia - "Vintage with Laces" said...

I'm so sorry to hear that and I understand that you want be supportive. But sometimes you just can't help and you have to stand at the sideline, otherwise you get dragged down yourself too much and that doesn't help anyone. There are people who just can't stand to see others to be happy. Hopefully you will get into the Christmas spirit soon and have a wonderful time over the holidays!!!

Julia

June said...

Hi sweet Anne,
I know that you won't let this steal your joy. I read your comment half way down the column and I can see that you will go on. I am sending up prayers for you sweetie...and I vote for the pigout!
hugs

Jamie said...

Anne I am so sorry. The holidays are sometimes all about the drama. I hope that you are feeling better and I wish you the very best holiday sweetie! Love, Jamie

trash talk said...

Sweetie, my Christmas wish for you is for you to find peace within your heart. First and foremost, your marriage takes precedence, anything else falls to the side. Make yourself and that your number one priority and let God handle the rest. I know your faith will lead you in the right direction, but as you can tell, you're not alone in your feelings. It doesn't make your frustration any easier, but at least you know you're not out on the ledge alone. We're all here as well and some of us are just inside the window to see you don't fall.
Trash

trash talk said...

P.S. Nothing else goes as far to help beat the blues than a mug of hot Dr. Pepper and a hot donut...so get your flannels on over here!
D

Garden Antqs Vintage said...

Anne, so sorry to read this, but know that God sees your hurt and will not forget you. I'm praying too my friend, T

Dixie said...

it's alright sweetie... a good book (maybe a Rachel Ashwell Shabby Chic), a cup of spice tea and a box of tissue... wallow in a little self pity... then put your cowgirl boots on and go thrift shopping... you'll feel all better soon...

sending you a hug.... blessings. Dixie

Jann said...

So sorry to hear-I will pray for you! This has been a strange holiday season for my family too . . .

Halo Hill said...

Honey, truth be told, that post could be written for me too. Hang in there. You're on my prayer list!

Warm Holiday Hugs,
Sheila

The Feathered Nest said...

I was thinking the same thing!! You can pick your friends but....you can't pick your family! I think drama goes on in most families, some a little more than others. I hope you have an amazingly wonderful Christmas in spite of them!! hugs and love to you dear Anne, Dawn

Rebecca said...

Sorry for the distress along with all your other fine friends who have commented with such fine support and advice above. Sounds like you are on the right track and have a good plan. Now if you can just follow it :)

It helps me to remind myself that "It's not all about me." And in the case of Christmas, it's all about HIM!

Draffin Bears said...

Hi Anne,

Often at this time of the year everyone is under stress and it seems to bring out the worst and best in us all.
Hoping that you can have a peaceful time and work out what is best for you all.

We have just had the same thing ~ over the venue we were going to have the birthday luncheon. In the end it all worked out and everyone had a great time.

Sending hugs
Carolyn

Kelly Aaron Mosaics said...

Hang in there! I, too, have been stressed about some family drama. I don't know the details of your situation, of course, but in my own world, I tend to get so keyed up in anticipation of the drama, that this part ends up being worse than the drama itself. After this week, hopefully we can all take a deep sigh of relief. You have a gorgeous blog.

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