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Friday, February 8, 2013

Well, well.....

What happens when the well runs dry?

I've struggled with this very question for months.
What to write about,
what to share,
whether or not to share at all.
And then it hit me, with such an obvious certainty
that I was amazed I had missed it all this time.

You dig deeper.

I'm not talking about your garden variety writer's block here,
this was something infinitely more complex and messy.

It was, and presently is, the decision of what to share
with the world and what to keep private.
What to reveal and what to clutch closely to my chest.

I've had longtime followers send me messages,
 kindly missives lamenting the fact that I don't blog quite as often,
that I'm not exactly the same carefree, lighthearted blogger
I was a couple of years back.

And they're right.

It wasn't anything quite as simple as blogger burnout,
it was more of a generalized burnout overall.
Too many posts, too many words, too many photos.
And never enough time.

Time to reflect, time to think, time to pray,
 and time to just BE.

And so the digging began.
And so it continues.

Figuring out what to keep and what to throw out,
getting to the core of who and what I am as a person.
Deciding who to surround myself with,
and purging anything that needs to go.
Prayer, soul-searching, friends, 
and anti-depressants come in handy for this task

I've discovered that while I may not like other people
too much sometimes, I find that on average, I tend to like
myself even less.
Digging deeper gets you to places like this.
Funny, that.

I'm in a good place right now.
I have a wonderful husband,
friends who love and support me,
and more creative projects than I can handle.

My well is full.
But the digging continues.

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